Signs You Care Way Too Much What Other People Think
A certain level of concern about people’s opinions regarding important aspects of your life is totally normal, including caring about your boss’s thoughts on your work or wondering whether your significant other’s parents like you. Being curious about these kinds of things is standard, and in some cases, expected. But what happens when that healthy level of concern turns from beneficial to destructive? If you identify with any of the following signs, you care way too much what other people think.
1. You think people are always talking about you
Gossip is an ugly look on just about anybody, but it’s a reality of the world we live in. No one hopes they’ll be the topic of conversation when they’re not around, but if your worries have become an all-consuming preoccupation, that’s no good.
Even if you are the subject of someone’s conversation, there’s no need to concern yourself with matters you can’t control. Ever heard someone tell you another person’s opinion of you is none of your business? Well, it’s true. No matter what they think, it’s not going to change the way you live your life. At least it shouldn’t.
2. You’re afraid to express your true opinions
Some people are highly opinionated. Others are more reserved. And yet some, those who care too much what others think, seemingly have no opinion at all. Their worries are so great that they never really, honestly, speak their mind. According to The Huffington Post, if you’re afraid to say what you really believe, it’s time for a little self-reflection. It may not be polite to shove every highly-opinionated thought you have down another person’s throat, but you’re certainly not doing yourself any favors by keeping your beliefs locked up inside, particularly if someone is asking you a direct question.
3. You’re a social chameleon
“When in Rome” can only be taken so far. While it’s natural to want others to like you, at least to a certain degree, there’s a fine line between being pleasant and completely changing your ways. Power of Positivity says, “Finding ourselves morphing into something just to fit into a social environment probably means we care too much about what others think and are not aware that we are losing our truth in the process.” It’s never a good look to alter who you really are just to fit another person’s idea of perfection. If you find this is you, it might be time to question who your real friends are because it’s not worth your time trying to please people who don’t appreciate you.
4. You’re less spontaneous than you could be
While spontaneity certainly runs the gamut from one individual to another, people who care too much about what others think deliberately hold themselves back for fear of criticism. According to Psychology Today, when people overestimate how much others judge their shortcomings, they’re left feeling more inhibited and less joyful. As soon as you let someone else’s judgement determine how you live your life, it’s a slippery slope. Before you know it, you’ll be living someone else’s truth instead of your own.
5. You’re always doing things you don’t want to
Do you consistently find yourself doing things you don’t want to do, and then resenting it? If so, The Huffington Post says this is a definite red flag. Think of someone who’s a people-pleaser to the extreme. They’re always wanting to do things just to appease others. And while it may come off as kind and genuine at first, this behavior can quickly turn into a constant pattern of bending over backwards.
Consider a person who doesn’t want to visit their in-laws for the holidays, but does because it’s the right thing to do and will make their partner happy. In most cases, that’s all there is to it, and they move on. And maybe the next time around, someone offers to return the favor. For the person who cares too much, though, they’ll continuously do such things to appease others when it goes against what they want, then feel irritated about it. There’s a difference between making your partner happy and sacrificing your own happiness for someone else’s.
Article Source: http://www.cheatsheet.com/health-fitness/signs-you-care-way-too-much-what-other-people-think.html/?a=viewall
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VOCABULARY WORDS:
1. Opinionated (adj.) ~ conceitedly assertive and dogmatic in one's opinions
2. Shove (v.) ~ push (someone or something) roughly
3. Social chameleon (n.) ~ a person who often changes his or her beliefs or behavior in order to please others or to succeed
4. Morph (v.) ~ to change from one shape to another
5. Gamut (n.) ~ the complete range or scope of something
6. Appease (v.) ~ pacify or placate (someone) by acceding to their demands
QUESTIONS FOR DISCUSSION:
1. How important is other people's opinion for you?
2. Are you able to share your opinion about certain issues with other people? What do you do when other people don't agree with your opinion?
3. What are the various things that you don't want to do, but you have to? How do you handle these kinds of situations?
